Daily Friday Part 1

 

1/7/2022

Today, I woke up earlier than before which is at 0830 hours. I bathe and I had breakfast. I really don't know what else I can do in life. I have played video games, I have studied, I have made friends and lost them, I had fall in love a few times, I still could not achieve my BMI, I had handle tragic situation in avoiding from becoming poor, I still did not have my own source of income, I worry about losing my parents much more than ever, I get nervous all the time, and I am recovering from mental illness. I found life moving at a high speed and the way to slow it down is to have activities and daily tasks since I have yet to have a job.

That part of chunk in my life that I have done and I am wondering if I could repeat them at my age now. I feel like there are full of empty spaces while feeling always nervous and my job is to fill those spaces with something worthwhile or productive. I could not avoid that nervous feeling when I feel like time has slowed down to put attention to me and what I am doing. It almost feels like being watched by many people, it felt like there are audience watching. My mind became blank. Sometimes I repeat what I had memorise from reading books and it is not that much to recite. If I am not forcing myself to write, I went on autopilot and felt like I am wasting time doing nothing.

Sometimes, I feel like asking for help, which I have tried but they didn't call back. I called a place known as "HALUAN" in my country. It seems like its the right place where there are people that could cater to a person like me. I don't understand what type of help that I need and what type of help is available. Or am I just lonely? As I went through my life, I just get better somehow and just ignore that painful part in my mind while not stressing about it. All I know is, it is the right place to make a phone call because of the topic about social ill that occurs to me. They also have counselling sessions that I could schedule for a booking slot. I also know a few other places to conclude into the list that I care about related to non-profit organization. I have it within my Gamer's Diary blog title which is "what do you believe in".

For having that episode in my life, I wonder how am I going to repeat the content in writing each time I am stuck trying to find a solution. For now, my excuses are, there is 7 steps sales process, resume overview, and "what do you believe in". Additionally, there is my own posting about "my children wants to become a gamer. Help!". Having all that compiled, I can look like a brand ambassador cum content creator that owns a legitimate business license registered with SSM if I truly make it happen. I still think this idea needs more development in understanding the industry so that I could start to think about competing in the country. Strictly speaking, if we are talking about investing in a business, I am sure it needs to reach into public listing for investors in the country. To do that, the business must reach a certain level but I am unsure if it could be considered as a viable option to have the ability in using crowdfunding to build and sustain a business. It seems like a silly idea, yes. Perhaps because it could be a business happening in here which is pulling in donaters and funders if there are any kind souls out there that would like to see your business succeed. Another reason is that everything I know about business is through reading about it and that is how the real world around me would perceive about crowdfunding, ridiculous. I still think that I am quite smart. The idea also looks like rich people game. I wonder why I would think like that. I need to change the way I look at things.

To start a business, first I need to understand about the procedure and processing in my country. Then, the business plan complete with hiring employees (if there would be) and the costs. Other than that, the most important thing is what I want to sell. For now, I don't have anything to sell. If I want my interest in my business idea to work, I need to know the profit.